I am a Scorpio.
I am a writer.
I am an intelligent human being; I am an animal.
I am a sexual creature, and I am not ashamed of it. I am afraid of it, sometimes. Afraid of my highly sexual nature and the effect it has on my life and those around me. Their views, ideas, opinions of who I am.
But this is who I am. I will not change myself for others, only for my own benefit if needs be. I won’t change to suit others’ perceptions or ideas of me. I don’t want to, anymore. Yet, I feel the need to have this blog and hide under the cloak of anonymity in order to tell my story. Nobody truly knows who I am, but myself. Some of those close to me see bits and pieces, when I let them. I judge by their responses if I should back off or continue to let them see my so-called ‘freaky’ side. And what a side it is.
Sex is a strong driving force in my life, my personality. Yet it does not run my life. I do not feel the need to fuck every single person I meet. I may wonder what different people would be like in bed, but that is more a curiosity of mine as to how people behave in the most intimate, vulnerable, personal situations. It does not mean I want to or would ever sleep with them just because I wonder what they behave like, sound like, smell like and feel like when they make love. What it would be like to make love to them. To me, sex is a time when you get to see a person truly stripped bare.
Some people are good at playing games all the time, hiding their true selves. But mostly, in my experience, when you make love, you let go. That appeals to my sexual Scorpio side, intrigues me.
Because, for me, making love is when a person shows you parts of themselves and their personality that you would never imagine seeing or discovering simply by having a deep conversation over a cup of coffee. Sex doesn’t need words, it is its own language.
I enjoy being touched when I give permission. Unwanted touching makes me recoil. When someone touches me because they have to, or if I need them to, or want them to (say, doctors, massage therapists, etc), I do thoroughly enjoy the touch of another human being. Not in a sex-crazed, disgusting way. Just, I like touch.
And my sexual side needs to come out sometimes. Hence the blog.
- The Secret Scorpio-